We hear stories of domestic violence every day, but rarely do we imagine abuse between two men or two women. However, gays and lesbians are susceptible to domestic violence just as any other individual.So, why do we hear so little about domestic violence between gays and lesbians and why are so few cases reported?
- First off, it’s difficult to determine which partner is the victim (unlike heterosexual couples where the woman is most often the victim).
- Many gay men hesitate to report abuse, fearing exposure of their sexuality.
- There are very few abuse centers that provide services for lgbt individuals. There are even fewer centers solely dedicated to gay and lesbian victims.
- Because majority of support groups are comprised of heterosexuals, gays feel they must hide their sexuality or come out to the support group.
- Many gay couples share friends, so the victim may be afraid of losing the support he finds in his partner and mutual friends.
Victims of abuse should focus on their safety and not the fear of being “outed” or losing existing support systems.
What are the different types of abuse?
Not many people realize that there are many types of abuse. Read the different forms below:
- Physical abuse
- Hitting, beating, choking, slapping, pushing, kicking, biting, etc.
- Abandoning a partner or holding a partner down by force
- Intimidating a partner, abusing pets, stealing or selling partner’s possessions
- Use or threats with a weapon of any kind
- Overly criticizing a partner’s body, clothing, or appearance
- Forcing sex or sexual situations without consent
- Refusing safe sex
- Abusive or threatening language, yelling or intimidating
- Purposefully not showing affection
- Obsessive jealousy or blaming
- Constantly being made to feel like you are not “good enough”
- Isolating the victim from family, friends or other support systems
- Blaming family and friends for relationship problems
- Spying on phone calls, emails, or IM’s
- Forcing partner to choose between the couple relationship and loved ones
- Degrading or denying the victim’s beliefs or spiritual expressions
Why do people abuse their partners?
The main motivator behind abuse is power and manipulation, which can stem from a number of the abuser’s personal issues or past experiences. The important thing to realize is that the victim is not at fault . Patterns of abuse must be worked out by the abuser and for your own safety you must remove yourself from the situation.
This is a very good article. And a situation that is not talked about as much as it should. The more people see that it is OK to talk the more people can get help. please read and pass it on to others.